I went up the Shard to think about my photography and this degree course. It was supposed to be make or break, but here I am with no clearer a way forward than when I was the bottom of this building.
I did however come out with a set of images that I love, but they mean much more to me than that. I see the images that I want, before I have snapped away and ended up with some nice images. Now I SEE them before they are in my camera. This leaves me with one thought...just one big thought.... AM I NOW A PHOTOGRAPHER?
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I have been out and about these last couple of days with one aim in mind. I have been trying out a new apporach to really push my photography, I have had to get out of the planning stage and just take some images.
I have all these ideas, yep these fantastic images then I do nothing about them. I have some award winning images floating around in my mind...I just need to get them out of there and into the camera. All Image copyright Spike Jackson 2018 So, Project 2 is here and on my desk, I have had my tutor report on my Square Mile and feel very encouraged. With that in mind I am pushing forward with great gusto, and it was with that attuide that I rang up the media department at TFL.
As you will all know Project 2 has the title "Collections" and so my brilliant idea was to record a collection of images taken on the Underground. Now being the good student that I strive to be, I contacted TFL to get permission on publishing my work as part of my blog. I had been looking into copyright and the issues around it that directly affect us as photographers. They were very helpful and I thought it was going great with a lot of encourging comments when I outlined my idea, so far so good. Then I was floored with one comment, one little statement that changed everything..."how would I like to pay the heavily discounted student rate?" £400 plus VAT!!!!! Now I was shocked that there was a charge, and even more so with the "heavily discounted rate", but I what really did it for me was my naivety ...and also embarrassment too. Time to look at something else, and being the true Yorkshireman, something free ! So I asked for peer feedback for my Square Mile project...just simple feedback.
In return I very promptly started to receive people's views on my work. Each response had within it one simple question..."why the mix of colour and B&W images?" Which is brilliant because I do not know myself. Can I reply "because I wanted to" or "Does it matter?" The simple reason is, I just like how the series fell, it appeared right to me. Now there may well be a involved answer, but I do not know it. However it has led me on a search for a better understanding and after all isn't that what learning is all about? copyright Spike Jackson 2018I have always wanted to work on a project just for me, however I just never got around to it. However I have become more and more interested in street photography and that in turn has pushed me forward to start.
So after a summer of set backs, I am finally back on track and have all the required elements on track.
I feel angry with myself at times that I have not completed this module sooner...that I have let myself down in some way. There have been plenty of times where I have written the email removing myself from the course and I am glad that I did not press send as it would have been the wrong thing to do. Now looking back, I can see how I have developed and picked up new skills, although I am still struggling to "see" the image. Though it is true to say that I have improved in this area, I still have some way to go until I am comfortable, This is important to me, its by far the one aspect I wanted to improve upon. The week has flown by in the form of endless lists and emails. Within one of those lists is a section marked "look at photographers and study their work" so that is what I am doing tonight, and my initial thoughts? there's so many of them...
So the nights are closing in and that means only one thing for me. I look back at the summer and at all the photos that I have taken. This year summer has been a long one and I have been on some lovely journeys too. So what relevance has this to my learning log?
I find that because I fit my studies in with work its difficult to see how my photography has changed or for that matter how I have developed. It is only by sitting down and looking at my work I can get a sense of the changes. Take the above image for example, I planned it, I had more or less this idea in my head and then I bagged it. This was the first time that I had taken this approach and I have since applied it to all my work. I can say that both my photography and I are better for it! Are photographs everywhere, just waiting to be taken?
So you will now know that I have scrapped everything and started again, I was getting nowhere and wasting a lot of time doing it. I have been through the whole range of emotions to get where I am now, and I suppose that is all part of my development. Though at times it did feel like that, especially when I was ready to throw my laptop out the window...of a moving car.
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December 2018
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